The news has been irritating me recently. Believe it or not, I used to be a Conservative Party supporting Daily Mail reader. I’m no longer either of these because I eventually grew tired of being manipulated into being angry all the time. They used to make me angry about immigrants, cancer, airport scanners, the French, the Euro, Tony Blair and worst of all, STAMP DUTY. (I don’t even own a house).

Then, a few years ago I took a massive dose of ‘chill the f**k out’ and since then I’m highly resistant to being manipulated by the politicians and the media (they’re almost the same thing nowadays). I’m also hoping for some sort of political revolution one day, although not the type being advocated by thesaurus humping Russell Brand which will presumably lead us to all to start wearing skinny jeans and thinking that possessing drugs is basically okay.

Rolling news coverage is pathetic. This is more evidently so when a celebrity dies and regardless of their differing career successes are treated to the same indignity of having news crews surround the building in which they died, whilst an expert or someone who met them once comments on their passing in a cringeworthy interview voiceover. Usually these experts and friends were arrested months later as part of Operation Yewtree.

Recently I watched BBC News, where despite storms, wars and murdered giraffes occurring around the world, we were treated to a segment on how people seem to be watching TV more than ever. They even interviewed a young family about it because finding out what ordinary people think is obviously conducive to ending the debate about whether something is actually news or not. Anyway, if I turn my TV off but leave my Freesat/Sky Box switched on… do I still count as a ‘viewer’?

Anyway, I digress. This morning I was treated to the wonders of Jonathan Vernon-Smith on BBC Three Counties Radio leading a debate around the issue of Dog control. Recently there have been tragic cases where young children have been killed or seriously injured from dangerous dogs. Some dogs have been bred to fight, some have irresponsible owners who haven’t trained them properly.

Good old Mr Vernon-Smith decided to report right from the heart of the action in the middle-class area of Verulamium Park in St. Albans because obviously that’s where you’re likely to find dangerous dogs and their owners. We were then treated to Vernon-Smith and a (thankfully) retired Police Officer accosting dog-walkers demanding why some of them weren’t on leads.

WHAT IF THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE WHO ARE SCARED OF DOGS?

WHY HASN’T YOUR DOG BEEN CASTRATED?!?!?!?1!!!??!?!?111?!??

OMG! THERE’S MUD ALL OVER MY JACKET FROM WHERE THAT DOG JUMPED ON ME! I WASN’T EXPECTING TO GET MUD ON MY COAT GOING TO A MUDDY PARK ON MUDDY GRASS DOING A REPORT ON DOGS!

There was one point where a dog (not on a lead) kept approaching another dog presumably because it wanted to play. The other dog wasn’t interested. That’s how an ordinary person would see it. Not PC Nobface.

YOU’RE BREAKING THE LAW BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DANGEROUS DOG THAT YOU ARE FAILING TO KEEP UNDER CONTROL. YOU’RE IN BREACH OF THE DANGEROUS DOGS ACT.

Please don’t let this piss-flute ever take charge of the Crown Prosecution Service. We would literally run out of money.

To top it all, they compared the issue of dogs to the gun control issue in America. Because they’re EXACTLY the same aren’t they?

Slightly incredulous, I tweeted Mr Vernon-Smith to let him know what I thought. He read the first tweet out on air.

 

@jvsshow @BBC3CR stop vilifying dog owners you moron. Picking on people in a park over non events. How brave!

— Matt Keil (@MattKeil) February 19, 2014

 

@jvsshow @BBC3CR The problem is with dangerous dogs NOT the ordinary responsible dog owner.

— Matt Keil (@MattKeil) February 19, 2014

 

@jvsshow @BBC3CR You’re seeking confrontation over the issue because it suits your own biased agenda. Poor journalism.

— Matt Keil (@MattKeil) February 19, 2014

 

@jvsshow Your report is based on conjecture & scaremongering. The dog debate is important, the hostile nature of your report isn’t helpful.

— Matt Keil (@MattKeil) February 19, 2014

 

@jvsshow and you just compared the dog issue to the gun issue in the US. That says everything.

— Matt Keil (@MattKeil) February 19, 2014

 

I don’t even own a dog. I’m actually in favour of better dog control regulations and help for dog owners, but Vernon-Smith has managed to alienate everyone who wants the same. Journalists should be held to account on occasions like this especially those who are being paid by the TV license payer (It’s impossible to utter the words ‘License payer’ without sounding at least 48% Daily Mail).

Remember, calling someone a moron is not trolling if it’s factually accurate.